Hey There, Random Person.

As you’ve probably already figured out from the numerous times it’s stated on this website, my name is Sarah Partain. I’m 15-years-old, and I’m in love with writing. I’m also in love with a few things teenagers are into (video games, mainly), but most people would agree that I’m a 45-year-old woman stuck in an adolescent body.

It comes with a few props.

I know what I want to do, and I have a body that’s able to do it. I’ll probably impress colleges if I’m able to publish a novel in the next few years, because the sad truth is that most teens don’t know what the hell they want to do with their lives.

It also comes with some downsides.

The number of friends I have is relatively low, even though I don’t rely on my friends as much as other kids. I have about 5 or 6 people I’d actually refer to as my “friends,” and I never try to make new ones. The reason why? Maturity. I don’t care about Snapchat, Instagram, “juicy gossip,” or anything related to who’s dating what guy or girl.

Screw that.

I want to have real conversations about things that matter. No one my age is interested in discussing the origin of the universe, global warming, politics, or our futures. They just complain about how school is boring, text during class, and make some elementary-level sex jokes. GROW UP.

So, yeah. Some may call me an intellectual; some may call me a buzzkill. In reality, I’m the comedian of my group of friends. I like to have fun, I just have fun in different ways and with different people than most 15-year-old’s.

I would insert a selfie here so you know who’s writing what you’re reading, but I can’t make myself do it. I either look like I’m trying too hard, angry, or confused. Maybe later, but not now. Just know I’m a pale half-Asian girl with long hair who rocks winged eyeliner on a daily basis. Deal?

Just realized you can’t answer that. Moving on.

Now, I’m thinking about how Americans randomly decide to replace the “s” in words with “z.” Realize, authorize, recognize, civilize, patronize, agonize . . .

Why, America? Why must you do this?

And we still don’t use the goddamn metric system.

Anyway, I’m the blazing ball of pure sarcasm that’ll be running this blog. Nice to meet you.

Huh. Maybe I’ll end blog posts with quotes.

“It’s just that most guys our age only care about eating, sleeping, and making sex jokes,” I smile.

“You act like girls are so much different,” he says.

“You make a good point,” I laugh. “Deep down, everyone’s a pervert.” -Penny and Luke in Insert Name Here